“Convenience is the bastard stepchild of laziness.”

source unknown




http://creaturelikenoother.tumblr.com/post/57056170740/convenience-is-the-bastard-stepchild-of-laziness

JUST US NOT JUSTICE

George Zimmerman found not guilty of murder of Trayvon Martin. What a crock of shit!!!

Oh What A Beautiful Morning

    June 3, 2009 was such a wonderful day. I am a closeted, married, bisexual woman and it had been over two years since I had been with a woman in an intimate way. Recently though, I had been craving the softness of a woman's touch, her scent and the sweet taste of her arousal.  So, I was on a quest for a special lady friend. I'm not really into the club scene and the club scene in my local area is not really big where I am anyway. Additionally in my past experience at the GLBT clubs I met more lesbian women than bisexuals which was alright when I was single but presents too many complications for everyone involved now that I am married. Therefore, I opted for the online dating experience, which was slow and frustrating sometimes. However, after three months of fees, emails, instant and text messages, phone calls and dates, my efforts finally paid off.
    A couple of weeks before my special lady friend and I met after exchanging contact information on the online dating service we chatted on instant messenger and then by email.  We hit it off right away talking about many things other than our interest in one another sexually.  However our attraction to each other was undeniable after only a few conversations by phone and online.  We made plans for her to visit me but had to postpone then a week and a half later we finally got together.
    She was a petite flower of a woman. Very classy but hot. Soft lips, nice hair, skin like butter,suckable toes,mmmmm. She smelled good, tasted good, felt good to the touch. I loved her long thick perky nipples and the tight grip she had on my fingers and tongue when she was having an orgasm. I can't wait to see her again. Later that day she really made my day by letting me know she felt the same way about our morning together. Now all is right with the world.

Premature No More! (Healthy Sex, Sexy Sex 4)

Cumming too quick? These tips can help you to keep going... and going... and going...

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1418554007/bctid1507768644

Is Backdoor Play Gay?

A man who likes to have his prostate stimulated: Obviously gay, or status quo hetero?

Figuring Out Foreplay

Fact: Women need 20 minutes to reach full arousal. Fact: Women need foreplay! Here's how to make it happen.

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

I went to see the movie on this past Saturday but I want to know what you think of it. So, please give some commentary. OK, what do you think of Borat's movie film?

a. movie was politially incorrect but hilarious
b. film was funny but too offensive (to Christians, Jews, Gypsies,African Americans, women,etc)
c. movie was funny but too vulgar (nudity,toilet humor, etc)
d. film was just plain disgusting and not funny

e. LMAO people need to lighten up and enjoy the movie

Masquerade Balling

Today is Tuesday, September 26th and I just received my invitation to an annual masquerade party from a friend of mine today. Of course it is for Tuesday, October 31st. Yes, the night before hump day at work but I would not miss this bash for the world. Last year was third time I was invited, but the first time I attended. It was on a Monday night but it was the most excitement I ever experienced on a week night in all of my twenty five years of living and more surprising yet in this boring town I live in. To give you an idea of how conservative my town is, I live just minutes away from Lynchburg, Virginia, home to a televangelist who is the president of a religious college whom I will let remain nameless. In order the even buy beer if you live in my town you have to go across the river to the next town over where it’s legal because there’s an ordinance against selling it here. Additionally the person who is hosting the party which actually is more of an orgy is actually my former first boyfriend. He and I met and started dating when I was eighteen and he was twenty eight. He had a hot body, was great in bed and taught me most of what I know sexually. Things in general were cool in our three year relationship but we drifted apart due to my going away to college and our maturity levels and priorities being different. He is now married, however we are still friends. This explains why it took three invites to get me to come to his party for the first time last year.
My friend’s house where the party was held was quite charming. The first room we entered was sort of a meeting and greeting area for people to sit, talk, have a drink or snack and perhaps decide if they had got up the nerve to move to the next room where the real action was. There was this really wonderful, mellow, piped in jazz music playing in both rooms which really helped set the mood perfectly for the festivities. The main room was really plush with so many comfy places to sit, lean and lay and get your groove on. There were even places for us to lay or hang our clothing or costumes. However, we were instructed to leave our masks on throughout so that the anonymity would free us to get as freaky as we wanted to be.
This was a party where singles and couples were invited and I came alone. I had taken a few walks on the wild side sexually during my college days and been involved in one or two ménage trois since then. However, I had not ever actually watched other people having sex without almost immediately joining in or being watched while I was getting my freak on too. This was very new but not uncomfortable for me at all. One of the first things I noticed was that people were a little apprehensive about having oral sex at first. However this one couple captured my attention and got me really aroused. The man was middle aged and had a really nice body and a super thick member if-you-know- what-I-mean and he was preparing the woman to receive it. She was petite, slender and had big breasts with long perky nipples and a neatly trimmed bush between her sexy legs all trussed up in a garter belt, stockings and cum-hither pumps. He was sucking and gently biting her nipples while he rubbed her outside with one finger and slipped some fingers inside to feel her wetness. After a while he stopped, tasted his fingers and then started looking in a bag that he had nearby. He pulled out a new dildo with a bottle of lube and put it aside. Then he started to suck on the woman’s clit while he slipped one then two then three fingers inside of her pussy. She was moaning and bucking upward to get more fingers and tongue. She finally came and got up and told him she wanted to taste him too. So, they got into a sixty nine position and she started to work that thick cock in and out of her mouth while he got out the dildo, put lube on it and started to pump it in and out of her pussy, while he sucked her clit and fingered her ass. I was so hot my panties were wet. My nipples were visibly erect even with my costume on. I sat with my legs held tightly together and rocked slightly back and forth. That rocking created enough friction against my clit for me to get myself off as I was watching without being too obvious. Just then I heard a familiar voice behind me. “You like watching them don’t you?” It was my friend and host of the party. “I like watching my wife fucking and sucking too.” “That’s your wife?” I replied. “Yes and I know you want some of that guys thick cock too, he knows how to use it and I’d love to watch him make you shake, scream and cum even harder than when we used to fuck, but I wanna fuck you first baby.” He slipped his fingers into my costume, between my legs and felt my wetness. I put my erect nipple in his mouth and he started biting it while he pinched the other. Soon my costume was off and I was riding his dick. By this time his wife and the guy she was with had finished and they were watching us. Then they moved toward us to join in. She started pinching my nipples while I continued to bounce up and down on her husband’s cock. Then I started rubbing her clit and fingering her pussy. I couldn’t resist tasting my fingers after she came on them. “Mmmmm so sweet I really wanna taste you again before the night is over” I told her. The man she was with got up behind me and whispered in my ear “May I be next?” This voice was familiar too but I didn’t catch it at first. Before I could answer there was a yell “I’m gonna spin her around” His wife and the other man got up out of the way and he flipped me around so I could ride backward cowgirl. This felt so good and just as I was about to cum the other man started rubbing my clit. I lost complete control and had a mind blaster orgasm. I could hardly speak immediately afterward and my head was still spinning. When I finally got back from la-la land, the man with the familiar voice was giving it to me from behind while I watched my friend’s wife suck his dick until he was hard enough again for him to fuck her. “Ah, your pussy is soooooo tight baby” he moaned as he thrusted. Oh my god, now I realized who’s familiar voice that actually was. This man was my uncle and since I hadn’t said much all night he hadn’t caught on to my voice yet. Now, I had to decide whether to keep going or to let him know who I was and stop doing the damned thing. As good as he was fucking me, the decision was made. I didn’t say another word. I just gave him grunts, groans and grinds of encouragement until we were both satisfied. Now, I that had had my main course, I was ready for dessert. I went over to where my friend’s wife was and whispered to her “I was really serious when I said I wanted to taste you, unless you don’t want me to?” “Oh yes I want you to, but only if I can eat your pussy too Sweetie, may I?’’ she asked. “Most definitely” I said and we got straight down to business. Soon everyone was watching us but we were so into what we were doing we didn’t notice or care. She knew what to do in the cunniligus department too and I came quickly, over and over again. I got an added bonus because her husband didn’t wear a condom, so he came inside of her. I lapped up every drop of their tasty juices.
As we speak I am RSVPing and will be mailing my response on my way to the mall to get my costume. My uncle also left me a voicemail message yesterday asking if I was going to be at the party. So, he finally did recognize my voice last year after all. I will definitely be masquerade balling again this October 31st.

The Truth About Women and No Strings Sex

Bang Bang Bang
Recently I was browsing one of the No Strings Attached Sex groups and a man was ranting about how pissed off he was about all the women he had encountered who were members of that group but when it came right down to it were not down with no strings attached sex. Other men empathized with him and shared their experiences about women they dealt with and gave advice. One woman in the group advised him to try sending the woman flowers which I though would be great advice for a relationship but sending a mixed message when pursuing someone for a no strings hookup. Since no one else was offering any really helpful information I told him that women usually have a very, short attention span when it comes to lust. If you can get her to meet you for a hook-up ASAP while you're both hot and bothered with all the sex talk, cancel whatever else you have to do, bring condoms, lube, toys or whatever and hit it. If you make plans for later, that gives a woman time to cool off, start feeling guilty about giving it up without commitment, cheating on her boyfriend/girlfriend/husband, or start getting scared that you might be a serial killer. So if she starts to hesitate when you try to make plans to have sex later, be understanding, give her a cell phone number and/or email address to contact you when she's ready and move on. Forget about her. If all the things that the two of you discussed earlier really made her hot, she won't be able to stop thinking about you. Especially once you stop contacting her. Out of the blue one day, she will hunt you down to give up the goodies. Just make sure she's not a psycho, fatal attraction type and again remember to bring protection. In the meantime always keep your options open. Don't always pursue the hot looking girls. Some of the plainer looking ones will give it up more quickly and offer you the hottest, nastiest, freakiest, pornographic sex you've ever had.

What is your view of no strings sex? What advise would you have given to the frustrated guy?

Do you you think average looking people are generally better sex partners than the hot looking folks?

a. Yes. Without a doubt. Most hotties are too into themselves to please their partner.
b. No. Don't be ridiculous. Looks have nothing to do with it.
c. The jury is still out on this one.

Have You Had it With Mother-F@%&ing Snakes On a Mother-F@%&ing Plane-Realistic or Ridiculous

Alright movie goers, have you seen the film yet, Snakes on a Plane? Do you think it could really happen or is this just a scary work of cinematic art?

Ode to the Thick Dick

Long and thin slides right in,
but does not please the ladies.
Short and thick does the trick,
and gives them all their babies.



OK folks! Short and thick or long and thin?

a. short and thick
b. long and thin
c. average sized (length and girth)
d. short and thin
e. long and thick
f. other (lol)
g. neither (I don't do dick)

This Is me, Creature......The cool, calm and mellow fat cat.....